Holding Hands

Dear Charlemaine,

Tonight we sat together as a family before bed to read Matthew. As we started to pray, you slithered off your bed, onto the floor next to me, and reached over to hold my hand.

Your eyes were closed tight and you were quietly listening and agreeing with your daddy's prayer. I  couldn't help but steal a glance at you. Your hair was parted in middle, and I hate it that way... Not because it looks bad, but because you look like a 15 year old Disney Channel actress. Your bangs are growing out from the last time I cut them and you freaked out on me. Your wavey brown hair (which I KNOW you did not brush today) was pouring down your back, layered and longer than ever.

I know we don't have to tell you that you're pretty... You know it. We catch you dancing and twirling infront of  the mirror all the time. But I also know what it's like to grow up from a girl into a woman. I know that at one time, someone will make you feel ugly, whether by word or by action. Don't listen to them. They're lying. 

Listen here, little miss! You also need to remember that it's more important to be beautiful on the inside. One day your skin will grow saggy and wrinkly, but you will still be just as beautiful as tonight when you reached over to hold my hand. 

I sure do love you,

Mommy

                    

Tonight...

Dear Charlemaine, 

At this very moment, 10:27pm on Monday, August 12, 2013, you are laying on the living room floor, banished from your room because (according to Jovee's tattle) you were "bothering her." 

 

You are wiggling around trying to touch Tokyo, who is just out of reach and you're singing, "dow chicka chicka der der" and "Neow nee neow" which I think is a lead guitar solo. Right now I'm trying to be stern, but c'mon you're cracking me up! You're flailing around your little tan arms and legs, wearing nothing but your panties, since your recent refusal to wear pajamas.

You are at the end of being 4 years old. It has been a glorious journey so far. 

Saturday, I cut your bangs. It was one of the worst decisions of my life. You have been wearing them long and parted in the middle and wanted them cut like "Aunty's." So I trimmed some side swept bangs just under your eyebrow... and you hate them. It has caused quite a few meltdowns since Saturday afternoon. I thought we weren't going to make it to church! Thankfully, I think you've forgotten about them now!

When you were a baby, my parenting role was to cater to your every need. If you cried, I needed to make it stop. If you were hungry, I better get you some food IMMEDIATELY! (Yes, you ate every 1 1/2 hours through out your entire first year of life.) I would cautiously guide you as you learned to walk. I would move everything out of your way and wouldn't let you out of my sight. 

Now you are going to be FIVE in a few months! I can't believe it! My parenting has had to change from catering to all your needs to having to with-hold things from you. You want everything. You are currently obsessed with getting a new car. You see them in a magazine or on a commercial and you say, "That one mom!" The other day, as you were looking out the window, you said, "Mom, check out that all new Honda!" It was hilarious. You want shoes, and toys, and clothes, and candy, and soda, and to stay up late, and to not take a nap... But what kind of mom would I be if I let you have and do whatever you want?! 

I hate saying no to you! I WANT to give you all those things because you are my precious princess baby girl. However, I want more than anything for you to grow up to be a successful human being who loves Jesus with all your heart and serves Him with all your strength. 

This is my prayer for you, Charlemaine. I pray that You will continue to seek Jesus and cry out to Him, not only in times of need, but also in times of gratitude. I pray you will continue upon the humble, compassionate path that you are already following. 

Love you,

Mommy

At the Farmer's Market on Saturday
(It was hot)

Fighting for Daddy's Attention

  

My Precious Babies!

Something got to me at work yesterday...

I was looking for an x-ray in a patient's orthodontic chart and as I flipped through her images, one very clear thing was undeniable...

Life is short.

This young lady had started her orthodontic journey early, around the age of 7, with an appliance. The first images I saw were her initial records. a front and side profile picture. As I flipped though page after page of her records, following her growth and development, she grew up right before my eyes. She went from 7 to 17 in a matter of a few clicks and a handful of profile pictures. I was shaken at the though of how quickly life passes us by.

There are so many things I want to tell you that I know you may not understand, or even want to hear until you're older. So many things I think of and cherish in my heart throughout the day, throughout my time with you girls. You never know really how long we have together, me being your mom and you being my daughters. I know life is fragile, and this journey we travel can be too busy. So one day, I hope you will sit down to read through my letters to you, Charlemaine Rose, and Jovee June.

You are both so beautiful. I cannot get over your faces. I could stare at them forever and hold them in my hands as I kiss you all over.

Jovee, when you smile, you're eyes light up just like your daddy's. That was one of the first (of many) things that I fell in love with him. Also, you give the best most snuggly squishy hugs. mmmmmmm. I love your hugs.

Charlee, you are so gentle and kind. You love people, everyone. Tuesday, you met a new friend at the mall named Bonnie, and after running around with her for 10 minutes, when it was time to leave, you gave her a big hug! It was so sweet! You are such a good big sister, always looking after Jovee, even when she's being a rascal. Don't ever change that.

My number one prayer for you is that you will continue to love God as your number one goal in life, and continue to seek and strive for Him. There is no other place to find ultimate fulfillment.

Well, this is the first of many letters to you. Now I'm going to sneak in bed and give you each a little kiss and snuggle as you're sleeping. (Let's be real, you're probably playing around instead.)

I love you!
-Mommy

This was at lunch on Monday. Daddy brought you guys to have lunch with me at Habit Burger!